kinetically_charged | Inbox

[It made sense for him to take her to clean up and perhaps continue someplace more private, to her suite and more importantly, her room, but the closer they got to the hotel, the more the influence from the club ebbed away. As that cloud of unfettered desire dissipates, the reality of what they've done, of she did prior to finding Remy, sinks in with disturbing detail and guilt. More than that, it's embarrassing how she behaved, so out of her usual character on so many levels.

With all that, however, it's impossible to deny that she very much enjoyed herself more times over than she cares to count. The quiet between them seems to deepen, to become heavier around them, and she can't help but tighten the grip that her arm has around his waist. An apology, a need for comfort, a request for forgiveness perhaps, but it's also a need for reassurance, to know that they can get through this. He's her best friend after all.

Pushing aside the other entanglements, this latest encounter has far more complicated and emotionally loaded implications. He has a wife, who might just be her in the future, and she's still struggling to trust him after everything they've been through at home, which already sounds like the more stable of universes in which to have a romantic relationship. It says something that neither want to admit.

He's probably freaking out just as much as her, maybe even more. So as they walk down the hallway towards her suite, she hazards a glance up to him, eyes searching and clearly no longer shrouded by that haze of sex. There's still a need, but it's different, emotionally fueled.] Come in for coffee?

[She's not able to sleep now, and she wants a bit more time to sort through some things before letting him leave.]

[It's something that makes so much sense at the time, moving off to a place just for them. Partly out of wanting to be with her, partly to keep others from her. She was his mate and if anyone else dared to try something they were going to find themselves in a world of pain. Possibly the explosive type. So once his coat was around her, Remy escorted her out of the club towards her room, an arm protectively around her shoulders as they made their way back.

But the further they got, the more reality started to seep back into his mind. And what just happened. What he just did. Oh Dieu. His steps started to slow, shoulders started to slump, as the weight of it all hit him. He... he cheated on Anna. It didn't matter if it was with another version of her... he cheated on her. After everything they had been through, after all his issues of the past, after trying to be better, trying to be the best he could for her... he went and did this. The fact it had been something out of his control didn't matter, wasn't an important factor.

He had cheated on her.

Remy hadn't even realized they had gotten back to her room, not really hearing what she said, as he let out a shaky breath, a hand coming up to cover his eyes as he slumped against the hallway wall.

What had he just done?]

I cheated on her. [Sorry Rogue, you've lost him for right now, that guilt of what just happened instantly starting to eat him away inside, a heavy pit settling in his stomach as his hand shook. It was clearly evident in his voice as well, a shake to it, a sound of defeat, and hurt, and pain. After everything, how could he had done this?]

[She noticed him slipping into his own head well before he moved to put distance between them.

There's no effort to stop him, not at first. It's beyond complicated, her own guilt rising as she realizes not just that she's crossed her own arbitrary boundaries with him, but that she's effectively just become the other woman to a possible future self. It's something that one can't just suss out over tea, for sure, but she also knew better than to part without any attempt at conversation.

Even if she's itching just to bolt the moment she's physically free of him, there's no avoiding him here in Hell. Not only is it physically near impossible, but he's her closest, most trusted person and ally here, complicated mess and all. She couldn't run, nor did she feel right after everything.

His admission hit her like a knife to her heart. She's even more aware of the fact that she's stark naked beneath his jacket and still smelling starkly of sex with him. If she felt that guilt, no doubt it was overwhelming and emotionally suffocating him, and she didn't know if her being Rogue made this sin better or worse for Remy.

Regardless of everything, or perhaps despite of it, she stepped back over to him, gently placing her hands on his forearms.]

Remy. Look at me.

[Everything else had turned into white noise, a numbness that made everything around him vanish. There was no Hell, no hallway, no person with him. Just the chaos that was going on in his head, and the pain in his heart. He was quickly falling into a very dark place.

Until that touch of her broke through. Almost like shattering a layer of ice that had covered him, bringing Remy out of it enough to hear her words.

But still hesitated.

It was Anna. But not. And he wasn't sure he could look at her right now and not see his wife. And how she may be looking at him.

But it wasn't his wife. It was his friend.

It takes a few unsteady breaths, almost as if getting air in was a struggle, before Remy was able to get his body to move. He let his hand drop before taking an extra beat to lift his gaze to her.

His friend.

Who still needed him right now. This wasn't just about him.] We should get ya 'nside.

[She ached for him in this moment, and even without touching him, felt his guilt radiating from him. As X-Men, they're used to weird things happening to them, the impossible situations cropping up and blindsiding them, but them together in hell from different points of time? Him married to a possible future version of herself and some sort of influence invading them both, driving them to act on their primal urges in ways outside their normal mannerisms? All while her mutation was dampened?

That was never one of them. Not even close to imaginable.

Yet here they both were, reeling from that reality still fresh and hot from the oven.

Her thumb rubbed across his skin, taking advantage of her ability to touch properly to try and comfort him. Though, she didn't expect it would help too much. At his words, she gives him a bit of a squeeze and tugs him off the wall, quiet and thoughtful, struggling with her own demons and complicated feelings.

They weren't far from her suite, and luckily no one was around. Once inside, she's not quite sure what to do. She's still gripping his arm as if it grounded her.] Um, drink?

[It did help him. It gave him a goal. And with a goal you had to work out how to get to the solution. And he could do that. It would mean less time thinking of what he was currently squishing down to not think about, and more on how to help achieve it.

Remy moved along with that pull, before slipping free of her grasp, but it was only so he could take her hand in his.] Yeah, I think that's a good idea. [But right now, something alcoholic didn't feel right, not after that. Less wanting to forget, more wanting to feel warm. Comforted.] Tell ya what, ya got chocolate? I can make us up some hot chocolate while ya get cleaned up. [He really could use a shower too, but it's her place and she was the one needing to get sorted out first.]

[They both needed some sort of resolution, some comfort to their guilt and the emotional reeling. Somehow, him taking her hand regardless of all that helped ground her, and she merely gave it a thankful squeeze.

To be fair, she never said it was to be alcohol, but she agreed with him, offering him a slight ghost of a smile as she glanced his way. He's right. She needed a shower and neither of them needed to dull their wits and feelings with alcohol, even if she wanted to manage this all poorly.] Ah think we do.

[Leaning over, she tugged the key to her suite out (it's amazing she still had it), and without letting go of his hand, unlocked the door and pulled them both inside, gently and quietly. Lucky for them, they're seemingly alone.] Stuff for the hot chocolate's in the cabinets, ah think.

[Maybe it said something about his way of thinking that to deal with something that caused distress was to drink it into oblivion, even if she hadn't actually offered it. It just seemed too easy to fall into as a coping mechanism.

Once inside, Remy returned that squeeze to her hand, but when it felt not enough for what had happened, brought their joint hands up so he could press a kiss to the top of her wrist. It wasn't meant as romantic, hadn't presented it as such, but that of more comfort; that they were together in this.] Go. I'll be here when ya get out.

[Far too easy indeed, which is another reason a quick, hopefully refreshing shower will help with settling her thoughts before she opened her damn mouth, which more often than not got them both in trouble in the end.

He earned a soft smile in return, though it's clearly heavy with other things.] Thanks Remy.

[The gesture was comforting, and she took that with her as she disappeared into that portion of the suite's shared shower. She's not quick about it, but she didn't linger too long, worried he'd be gone when she finally emerged. When she did emerge, her hair's wet and she's in a towel with his trench in hand, which she offered him with a clear of her throat.]

Ah'm glad you're a creature of habit. Else ah would've been walkin' back naked.

[It's not until she's vanished into the bathrooms that Remy let out a long sigh, slumping a shoulder against the wall, hand over his face again and just... needing a moment to push back everything. Then a shorter, more brisk breath out, short and sharp between his lips as he pushed himself off the wall. No, not going to let that happen, not tonight. Right now he needed to be here for her and what she went through, not caught up in his own thoughts. That could be saved for later.

Rubbing at his forehead one more time with another sigh, Remy shifted towards where she had indicated items were, poking around the kitchen unit enough to get everything together to cook up a couple of mugs worth of drink for them. Being able to do something with his hands helped as a distraction, keeping his attention just focused on getting it done that he's not aware of the passing time until she reappears and speaks up again.] Gotta keep on brand, non? [Filling up one a cup and holding it out in one hand as he reaches for his coat with the other.]

[At this point, modesty felt both necessary and perhaps a bit strange given their very recent experience, but the kitchen smelled of hot chocolate and she's starving, probably thirsty too. Truth be told, it's the comfort it brought that she's craving, hot and sweet, with memories of cold mansion nights tied to the steaming mug of chocolate.

His comment prompted a gentle smile of appreciation as she took the offered mug, letting her fingertips brush over his curiously, to see if her mutation was still inactive. She exhaled a sigh, unsure of whether to be relieved or worried, the hand free of his coat shifting to rest over the corner of towel tucked into the other end. Just in case.

Blowing on the hot chocolate, she let the silence sit around them for a few moments. There's so much to say and honestly she didn't know how to process most of it, let alone say it. She also had some personal questions that this whole thing has surfaced. Eventually, she nodded towards her room.]

C'mon. We can drink in private. [Before he could really weigh in on the decision, she turned and disappeared into her room, sipping at the drink while mulling over the situation.]

[That slight touch didn't go unnoticed to Remy, he was always super aware of her touch for when they were able to have it, but he let it go unmentioned, instead moving to drape his coat over his arm as he filled up a cup for himself. Part of him was ready to just go now she was sorted out, but he had made enough for two.

And it felt wrong to leave. Even if they weren't together, with what just happened, he could never just walk out on her afterwards. She wasn't a one night stand. A date to have a bit of fun with and not see again. She was Anna Marie, and he wouldn't do that to her. Couldn't.

She had never been just some random girl.

Even then her suggestion came as a bit of a surprise, a moment of pause before Remy had gone to answer her.

And then she left.

That gets a huff out of Remy, but also a smile, all too used to that attitude from her. Stubborn girl. A shake of his head before he took a sip at his own cup, Remy moved to follow her into her room, closing the door quietly behind him.]

[Touching him now, even in the simplest of ways, resonated in her, a jump of energy and a flow of calm. He's always been a source of intense emotions for her, a well of them that still ran deep, and even more so now that she's had a chance to canonball right back into them.

She'd say it'd been against her better judgment, but in reality, whatever affected them broke down all those emotional barriers and walls she put in place, all her precautions and their rules given the additional situation of their points on each of their timelines. In the end, it's the lack of control in the ultimate decision that bothered her the most.

But in this moment, she was her entire, complicated self again. And, she could still touch. The weight of that was not lost on her. It occupied the bulk of her thoughts even as he entered the room.

She sipped her coffee, more for something to do with her mouth and her hands than actual thirst. It's still a bit too hot.]

Ah'm sorry Remy. [Seemed like a good place to start.] Sorry it's a mess for you more than me. [She quieted, voice breaking a bit.] Ah'm real sorry it wasn't us. Ah mean, it was an' it wasn't, you know? Just... [She sighed forcefully.] Ah hate mind control.

[That's the worst of it. They both had a history with it, together and separately over the years. It always robbed something from the experiences.]

[Remy looked around for a moment, finding a spot to put his coat down neatly before shifting his cup from one hand to the other to hold, watching her carefully as she started to speak. His expression softened even more as she spoke, with what she was saying, but the instant he heard that break in her voice, that tone shift, Remy instantly moved to cross the distance between them. He moved to wrap an arm around her shoulder, giving her a squeeze and a slight bump of the side of his head against hers, staying there for the moment.] Hey, don't ya go soundin' like that. Ya did nothin' wrong, wasn't in ya control.

[The thing was... it did help to hear, even if it didn't feel fully right for her to have to say it. It hadn't been something under her control, she shouldn't have to apologize, even if it did help sooth some of those sharper spikes of his guilt over this all. It didn't heal them fully, but it helped.] May not had been 'us', but out of all the chances, am glad it was with ya, Anna. If it had been someone else I had stumbled 'cross... I donno. [Remy didn't want to think about it. It was all too much. If it had been the other way around, if her, his Rogue, had been the one caught up in this, with a past him, would he be upset at her?

No. Not with that mind control. Without that mind control? Hmm, he still doubted it, because it was still 'them'. Then again, since when had Remy ever been good at taking his own advice? He could easily tell her she wasn't at fault without a second thought, but for himself?

He was still going to be blaming himself over this for awhile.]

I know ya do, that why we can't agree on when our first kiss was.

I picked a lock the other day. Be proud.

Always proud of you. Even more so with the lock picking.

Though I got to ask what fun you are having without me, chere.

I know, but I needed to share.

If by fun you mean I was called over to break down the door of a teenager with a dropped lung so Billy could heal him because Le Revolutions could not do it themselves, then yes, I was having fun.

Well certainly a way to spend a day. Also extra impressed you went for the lock and not just smacked it, but then would be down one door, huh?

Where did you get the set from? They available around here?

One less thing for Jason to complain about since he locked himself in there in the first place.

I borrowed it. You usually have spares.

[She leaned into him and his touch while she could act so casually, while she still had her mutation dampened. These were cherished moments, even if they were complicated. Still, she shifted her head back so that she could sip her hot chocolate, to put distance enough between them to think clearly. Otherwise she might just give into the ever growing desire to put the lack of mind influence and quelled mutation to good use in answering a few questions she maintained.

Except he’s married (to a future her), which confused the matter of both his feelings as her own. How broken and self-loathing he appeared to feel knowing that he did something against his wife reflected a dedication that she’d only just experienced in his promises of home and harbor. To see his devotion in action, unwavering and deep, well it’s quite stirring even to her walled and stubborn heart.

His words hit home, and she sighed with a dip of her head, a mix between a nod and resignation to the truth of it all, of more than he’s simply stating. Her eyes raised to his when he moved to the hypothetical, and she hummed her disapproval of that line of thought. If she’s not allowed to think poorly of herself, neither was he.

She couldn’t help but think that if he’d been her husband, which still remains nearly unfathomable for her, and he’d been mind controlled into sleeping with an identical version of herself? Well that’s not exactly a new scenario (thanks mother dearest), and now that she’s ankle deep in his shoes, Rogue didn’t see how she could hold something like this against him. Mind control clouded everything, tainted it to a degree.

It wasn’t them, and yet it was, unequivocally. The connection had been deeper, if possible, and she still felt that now.

His comment had her scoff in laughter.] Not that again.

[That there usually would have been enough to start an argument. Now, it gave her thought, and a bit of a push. She set the mug down and turned towards him, placing a hand on his chest as though to feel his heartbeat, her own gaze full of questions, of silent permission, of a different sort of need.]

Remy...? [She wanted to know, maybe even needed the reassurance, the confirmation. What would she do with it after? Well she still hadn’t thought that far ahead yet, not wanting to lose what nerve she’s collected.]

That kid who's got that little tiny mask he wears, like he thinks hiding his brows is going to hide his identity? He's a trouble maker.

I like him. Glad you helped him out.

'Borrow' she says.

He wears a mask? Interesting. He helps me down at the garage. Knows quite a bit about cars and bikes.

Spoiler alert, you're a troublemaker too.

Like you don't always have extras crammed somewhere I don't want to know.

[Remy smiled a little at her hum, knowing what it meant, before it widening at her laugh at his comment, glad that she took it that way. It was always going to be a point for them, and if Remy can turn it into a joke as needed for situations where they needed a laugh, something to help recenter them, then he would.

Also, mind control or not, it had been an amazing moment for him. He really had given up on anything romantically long term after Bella, and he's very glad Rogue proved that all wrong.

And it had been an amazing kiss.

Watching her shift, moving towards him, his smile slipped a little, instantly feeling that change in the mood, a sudden heaviness appearing that he was not quite sure where it would lead to. Remy can make a guess, almost feel that she may ask... but not willing to recognize those thoughts until she confirmed it. And even then, how he would feel if she did say it.

Trust it to be her that makes him feel unsure and confused about himself. At least that felt normal.] Anna?

Yeah, one of those teeny ones that just cover your brows and top of cheekbones and totally, absolutely hide your identity.

I still got to visit your garage sometime. Not that got anything to be worked on. Or really anywhere to go with it. Feel that road tripping is pretty much out of the question here.

That's actually one of the sets I managed to put together here, it's why they're not as good as professional made ones. Hey, that's a good reason to stop into your garage, see if I can use some of your tools so I can put some gear together.

Adorable. Though you can pass with a ball cap and some contact lenses. A hat and street clothes for myself.

You should. I'm building a bike, and retrofitting a van to be a sleepaway. Just in case.

Do you want it back? Figured you'd have extras and it's good for me to practice when they can take away powers on a whim here. Same with training.

Inbox - Penance

backdated to aftermath

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